Every year my family follows the Pennsylvania Dutch (Deutsch) tradition of serving Pork and Sauerkraut for New Years Day. It is a long held belief that this meal will help bring good luck for the upcoming year. I’ll eat to that!
This morning I went to see Pineapple Express at Arclight, Sherman Oaks. Yes, I went to see a movie at 11am. I also ate candy and soda before noon, too. I think some people might call me lazy because I went so early to avoid big crowds (it was practically a private screening in there; I felt like I was making too much noise and distracting the other 3 people in the theater when I was eating a Red Vine), not deal with traffic, and not do other work, but really I was not being lazy at all. I had to wake up pretty early to get myself over there in time.
When the movie was over, I turned on my phone and saw that I had received a voicemail from my mom during the movie. In the message, she told me that a pair of shoes has arrived for me in Pennsylvania and that they both fit her and my dad. I was shocked, embarrassed, humbled, and amused when I heard this message.
In a few weeks I am going to be in a wedding. One thing about me, that is pretty apparent if you already know me, is that I rarely dress up. I sort of wear the same clothes everyday: pants, t-shirt, a North Face Hoodie, and sneakers. I’m fashionably predictable like a cartoon character in the sense that my outfit is the same everyday. The advent of the wedding and being part of a bridal party has caused quite the commotion in my life; I have to buy nice shoes to wear to the events (bridal shower, dinner rehearsal, wedding itself, etc.) I don’t own the appropriate shoes already because it is such a tedious process for me to find shoes that fit.
I have big feet. I’ve slid through life just buying men’s sneakers and have a pair or two of business/professional shoes somewhere lost under my bed. Unlike most people, I cannot go to any store and find shoes that fit. They never have my size and probably never will. I have to search online, which you would think makes it easy in this day and age, but you are wrong. All I can find on the internet is either
grandma/nurse shoes, or 8-inch plastic/vinyl stilettos. Neither of which are very practical for me. I can’t wear grandma sneakers to a job interview, nor can I wear 8-inch heels. Since I am teetering on the edge of being 6 feet tall, I can barely handle wearing 2-inch heels without coming across as a tranny hot mess. I am sure that the people who make the heels in sizes that fit my feet are targeting people that do fall under the tranny hot mess category, but that is not my deal. I just want some professional, tasteful, fashionable, and not ridiculously expensive shoes to wear for all occasions.
So I have been ordering a bunch of shoes online, in sizes I think that will fit my feet, but sending them home to Pennsylvania instead of here in Los Angeles (this is just so I don’t have to deal with packing them and paying extra money to check in luggage). My parents have received two pairs in the mail. The whole situation is especially amusing to me because I never asked my parents to open the boxes for me, nor did I ever suggest that they try them on for me, especially my dad. But, that is what is great about my family; we do what we want. Haha, just kidding… They are just looking out for me and my best interest. Or, my dad really wants to try on women’s shoes and my mom enjoys watching him do it.
In the end, it sucks to be a girl and have big feet. However, Paris Hilton has big feet, and she’s running for President…